Wish You Weren't Here

We walk along the beach staring at other people's feet
Trying not to say go away to one another
What was once a glorious day has turned to a low tide
Never again will we be high.

I wish I could cry but what for
Your kisses have turned to sea salt
I used to love you more but now
We just seem to love less
But isn't there enough hate in this world
To go around without us wishing
We were not here.

I send you a postcard of the sea yet
I will not be surprised if it gets buried
Beneath the sand cuz what was once
A sea shore romance
Star gazing and reflections
Of a pizza pie in blue has turned
Into a low tide that will never again
Go high.

I used to love you more but now
I avoid it all
I think I will bury away
Our shells and beach balls.
Wash away my castle in the sand
Cuz I am through with
This long term stand.

Parasol & Grandma

They are safe in their frame......

Breadcrumbs lost under the snow......

MOTHER By Tori Amos

go go go go now
out of the nest it's time
go go go now
circus girl without a safety net
here here here now don't cry
you raised your hand
for the assignment
tuck those ribbons under your helmet
be a good soldier
first my left foot
then my right behind the OTHER
pantyhose running in the cold

mother the car is here
somebody leave the light on
green limousine for the redhead
DANCING dancing girl
and when i dance for him
somebody leave the light on
just in just in case i like the dancing
i can remember where i come from

i walked into your dream
and now i've forgotten
how to dream my own dream
you are the CLEVER one aren't you
brides in veils for you
we told you all of our secrets
all but one
so don't you even try
the phone has been disconnected
dripping with blood and with time
and with your advice
poison me against the MOON

mother the car is here
somebody leave the light on
black chariot for the redhead
DANCING dancing girl
he's gonna change my name
maybe you'll leave the light on
just in just in case i like the dancing
i can remember where i come from

i escape into your escape
into our very favorite fearscape
it's across the sky and i cross my heart
and i cross my legs oh my god
first my left foot
then my right behind the other
breadcrumbs lost under the snow

oo who mother
oo mother the car is here
maybe maybe you'll leave the light on
for the for the for the dancing girl
he's gonna change my name
maybe you'll leave the light
just in case i like the dancing
i can remember where i come come from

mother mother mother

Its Fall!

Its fall! I have been a busy bee enjoying the changing of the leaf colors (well, as much as one can in California, I suppose) as well as treats, not many tricks. Hanging around my 'hood & working, although not as much on my book as I would like, but some new thoughts came to me that are still brewng in my head & that need to become concrete on paper. When they do, I may share 'em with anyone who is interested....you, maybe? Hopefully?
The big news lately sems to be that McRib is back! I don't eat meat, so for me this time of year means.....Ghirardelli Pepperment Bark Chocolate is BACK! Woooot. Already got 2 bars for 2 bucks at Wal Greens. Sweet. Literally!;-)
Til next time....check out my new picture from halloween!!!! xo, Mary

But if its all just the same then will you say my name?

I have been lazy at posting any of my own work. I am too busy getting moved to tears while having my heart ripped out of me watching geniuses like this lassie. This song moves me as if my life is flashing before my eyes......



from the top of the flight
of the wide, white stairs
through the rest of my life
do you wait for me there?

there's a bell in my ears
there's a wide white roar
drop a bell down the stairs
hear it fall forevermore

drop a bell off of the dock
blot it out in the sea
drowning mute as a rock;
sounding mutiny

there's a light in the wings, hits this system of strings
from the side while they swing;
see the wires, the wires, the wires

and the articulation
in our elbows and knees
makes us buckle as we couple in endless increase
as the audience admires milkymoon

and the little white dove
made with love, made with love:
made with glue, and a glove, and some pliers

swings a low sickle arc
from its perch in the dark:
settle down
settle down my desire

and the moment I slept I was swept up in a terrible tremor
though no longer bereft, how I shook! and I couldn't remember

then the furthermost shake drove a murdering stake in
and cleft me right down through my center
and I shouldn't say so, but I know that it was then, or never

push me back into a tree
bind my buttons with salt
fill my long ears with bees
praying: please, please, please,
love, you ought not!
no you ought not!

then the system of strings tugs on the tip of my wings
(cut from cardboard and old magazines)
makes me warble and rise like a sparrow
and in the place where I stood, there is a circle of wood
a cord or two, which you chop and you stack in your barrow

it is terribly good to carry water and chop wood
streaked with soot, heavy booted and wild-eyed;
as I crash through the rafters
and the ropes and pulleys trail after
and the holiest belfry burns sky-high

then the slow lip of fire moves across the prairie with precision
while, somewhere, with your pliers and glue you make your first incision
and in a moment of almost-unbearable vision
doubled over with the hunger of lions
'hold me close', cooed the dove
who was stuffed, now, with sawdust and diamonds

I wanted to say: why the long face?
sparrow, perch and play songs of long face
burro, buck and bray songs of long face!
sing: I will swallow your sadness and eat your cold clay
just to lift your long face

and though it may be madness, I will take to the grave
your precious longface
and though our bones they may break, and our souls separate
- why the long face? milkymoon
and though our bodies recoil from the grip of the soil
- why the long face?

in the trough of the waves
which are pawing like dogs
pitch we, pale-faced and grave,
as I write in my log

then I hear a noise from the hull
seven days out to sea
and it is the damnable bell!

and it tolls - well, I believe, that it tolls - for me!
it tolls for me!

though my wrists and my waist seemed so easy to break
still, my dear, I would have walked you to the very edge of the water
and they will recognise all the lines of your face
in the face of the daughter of the daughter of my daughter

darling, we will be fine, but what was yours and mine
appears to be a sandcastle that the gibbering wave takes
but if it's all just the same, then will you say my name:
say my name in the morning, so I know when the wave breaks?

I wasn't born of a whistle or milked from a thistle at twilight
no, I was all horns and thorns, sprung out fully formed, knock-kneed and upright
so: enough of this terror
we deserve to know light
and grow evermore lighter and lighter
you would have seen me through
but I could not undo that desire

oh-oh, oh-oh-oh desire
oh-oh, oh-oh-oh desire
oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh desire milkymoon

from the top of the flight
of the wide, white stairs
through the rest of my life
do you wait for me there?

I Guess on Days Like This You Know Who Your Friends Are...

I am seeing Taxi Ride in a new, personal light. Scarlet is in that taxi driving away from people who were never her friends to begin with. She has known all along they could give a fuck but by finally encountering true friends in her life that "are on her side" she is able to see "who her friends are". This is where I am at in my life and I have never felt better knowing who is on my side.

So, dear ones, my release date will not be the same as my favorite writer women as previously thought. I have priorities with my money this month (ahem--rent, gas, electric, the good stuff) but this dream will be my reality by end of September. No fucking excuses.
In the meantime, let me pay homage to Tori Amos, who is 47 today & Dorothy Parker, who would have been quite old (haha) today, also.